DOG FOOD RECIPE*

1 onion                        Garlic  

1 pound ground beef            Soy sauce

2 ribs celery                   1 cup brown rice

Water chestnuts               Chinese noodles

Braise onion and then chopped beef in a frying pan. Add chopped celery and sliced water chestnuts. Season to taste with garlic and soy sauce. Cook rice and add to meat mixture. Place in Dutch oven and heat over a low flame for 10 minutes. Server over Chinese noodles for added crunch. Eat with chopsticks (or without).

* SERVES:

One adult human and one Brittany Spaniel

or One adult human and two Cairn Terriers

or Two adult human and one Chihuahua

or One Rhodesian Ridgeback

or One child and two Dachshunds (smooth, wire, or ling-haired)
or Two children and one Shih Tzu

Emily will need a deeper dish than you will to help prevent spills. If she gobbles too fast, tell her “EEASY, SLOW,” and if you must, take her food away for a moment. Now you’re doing fine. Emily appreciates your cooking, perhaps a bit more than most of your other guests. Now you never need eat alone again—and you can charm small guests at your next children’s birthday party. But unless you’re sassier than we are, better keep Emily on the floor when Mom comes for dinner!

[Home] [Tug It] [Report] [Sneeze] ["Nothing" Trick] [Tricks for the 21st Century]